Being confused regarding someone who proposed


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Q 2: I am a young woman who adheres to her religion. Several young men proposed to marry me at the same time. I had to perform Du`a'-ul-Istikharah (supplication for guidance) for each one of them more than once, but I did not feel anything. I have performed Du`a'-ul-Istikharah before for a young man who proposed to marry me and I saw what made me refuse. When I felt that I have to do something before my family gives a final word, I said: "O my Lord! Guide me to what is good for me." I got engaged to the best one among those who had proposed to marry me. He is a good person with good morals. One year later, I felt that this engagement is a temptation for me though my relation with him is very good. Moreover, I did not find any fault with him that may cause me harm in my religion or in my life. Therefore, I performed Du`a'-ul-Istikharah three other times, but I did not feel anything that makes me accept or reject this offer. What should I do in this regard? Should I accept his offer or not? May Allah reward you.


A: Whoever receives a marriage proposal should recommend her family to get information about this person, or find a trustworthy relative who can gather information about his morals, trustworthiness and his adherence to his religion. If they find that he is a good person, she can perform two Rak`ahs (unit of prayer) and then say Du`a'-ul-Istikharah with regard to getting married to that person. If she finds tranquility and happiness in her (Part No. 18; Page No. 59) heart and soul, she has to seek help from Allah and accept his offer. But if she feels depression and she feels unsure about him, she should reject this offer. May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.




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