Man hating his wife


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Q: I am a twenty-three year old young man. Two years ago, I married the daughter of my maternal aunt. I married her although I did not love her. It was my mother's talk about her good manners that made me accept her as a wife. After marriage, I could not love her. I tried to force myself to love her but in vain. My place of work is far from my mother's home and my wife lives with my mother. Now I only see them once in a year because I cannot stand staying with my wife whom I do not love. It should be noted that I have a daughter from her and my daughter loves me and I love her very much. However, I no longer want her mother as a wife. We are married because as I mentioned previously it was my mother's will and because I was young at that time and wanted to marry before my peers. I did not think of the future of our relationship. My wife is an honest and sensible woman, but I cannot love her. Your Eminence, I need an urgent solution. What should I do? If I divorce her, my mother will be angry with me. I also fear that she may suffer after me and may not find another husband. As I mentioned, she is my cousin and I do not want her to suffer. I also fear for my poor daughter. Should I endure life with her and marry another wife? (Part No. 19; Page No. 250) It should be noted that I prefer to stay at my workplace, lest I do something that may upset my mother, especially as regards my wife, her niece. Again, if I marry another wife, I may not be fair to them as I do not love my first wife.


A: A husband should treat his wife kindly. If he hates her, he may divorce her one time. He may change his mind later on and go back to her. Also, it is permissible for you to marry a second wife, but it is obligatory that you observe equity between them as regards sustenance, housing, and spending the nights with them unless one of the wives gives up her right in any of these matters in which case there will be no blame on you. May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.




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