Q: In our village there is a custom that whenever a relative dies, the neighbors hurry to serve food to the family of the deceased and to the consolers for three days. As you know, this custom overburdens the poor, so is it wrong to observe this custom? The family of the deceased also ask for a pavilion to be erected and hire someone to recite the Qur'an invoking Allah's Mercy on the soul of the deceased, and as you know these procedures are costly both to the poor and the rich. In addition, the shaykh takes money for his recitation. The question is: Is it wrong to observe these customs?

A: Death is inescapable as Allah (Exalted be He) says: (Part No. 7; Page No. 431)  Everyone shall taste death. He (Exalted be He) also says: Whatsoever is on it (the earth) will perish. The death of a Muslim or one's kin is an ordeal which must be faced with patience and Ihtisab (confident anticipation of Allah's recompense). Allah (Exalted be He) says: ...but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirûn (the patient). Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly! To Allâh we belong and truly, to Him we shall return." They are those on whom are the Salawât (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones. Consoling the bereaved is prescribed in Islam, to help allay their grief and comfort them. A consoler may say: "May Allah give you the best consolation, compensate you for your loss and forgive your deceased relative". It is Mustahab (desirable) to prepare and serve food for the family of the deceased as much as they need, as they become so engrossed in their distress to prepare their food. As for what some people do of erecting pavilions to have a large gathering, hiring Qur'an reciters, preparing huge banquets, consuming a large sum of money and spending a long time which overburdens the family of the deceased, all these customs are Bid`ahs (innovations in religion) and burdens that have nothing to do with religion. Jarir ibn `Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "We used to consider gathering at the bereaved family's house and preparing food after the burial a kind of wailing." Moreover, if the money consumed for this gathering is taken from the estate left by the deceased, it shall constitute transgression of the rights of the heirs especially if among them are orphans and minors, in which case it shall be (Part No. 7; Page No. 432) unjust consumption of their property.May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.