Q: We are teachers working in Al-Ta'if. Allah has willed that a father of a colleague die. Some of us saw, as a kind of cooperation and offering condolences to the grieving family, according to the Hadith: Prepare some food for the family of Ja`far... That we prepare a meal for the grieving family. So we collected some money for this purpose. Some colleagues were assigned to prepare and take the food to the house of the grieving family, and serve it to them without encumbering the family with serving it or inviting persons from outside the family to it. After having this food with them, the colleagues collected the dishes and cleaned the dining tables, left the place, and gave the excess food in charity to the poor. On the following day, some other colleagues criticized this act as a part of wailing, based on the narration of Jarir Al-Bajaly (may Allah be pleased with him): "We used to count gathering with the family of the deceased and making food for them after the burial to be a kind of wailing." We argued with each other about this subject and agreed all to refer to the knowledgeable scholars to give us a legal ruling on this. Is this act considered wailing? Is our eating with the grieving family unlawful? Please give us a Fatwa (legal opinion issued by a qualified Muslim scholar) on this, may Allah reward you with the best.

A: What you have done, i.e., preparing food for the grieving family is Mashru` (Islamically permissible) and Mustahab (desirable). (Part No. 7; Page No. 418) But the food should be enough to feed the deceased's family without extravagance in this regard, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Prepare some food for the family of Ja`far, for what has befallen them is keeping them preoccupied. There is nothing wrong also with you joining the grieving family in eating the food you prepared and conveyed to them, without you doing this for the purpose of assembling at the grieving family's house. What is forbidden in this regard is to prepare food for the grieving family and to invite other people to assemble at their house for the purpose of eating from that food, as this is part of wailing. This is in accordance to the narration of Jarir ibn `Abdullah: "We used to count gathering with the family of the deceased and making food for them after the burial to be a kind of wailing."May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.